Characteristics of a predominantly Auditory person –
Move their eyes sideways when accessing thoughts and often tilt their head sideways as if ‘lending an ear ’ or as if on the telephone.
Breathe from the middle of their chest
Easily distracted by noise and typically talk to themselves silently often moving their lips as they do
Speak in more resonant tones with their voice sounding rhythmic / musical
They repeat things back to you easily, learn through listening and like talking on the telephone
They memorise sequentially by steps and sequences and like to ‘ hear’ feedback in conversation.
Language :
They favour words like hear, listen, sound, tune in/out, be all ears, rings a bell, resonate, overtones, outspoken, tell, clear as a bell, voice an opinion, word for word and so on.
Characteristics of a predominantly Kinaesthetic person –
Typically breathe from the bottom of their lungs and consequently you can see their stomach go in and out as they breathe.
They tend to look down and to the right when accessing memories.
Often have quite a deep voice and speak slowly with deliberate phrasing and gaps in between phrases. They seem to process thoughts much more slowly than the quick speaking visual person.
They respond to physical rewards and touching and tend to stand closer to people in conversation.
They memorise by doing or ‘walking through’ something and have an interest in how things
‘ feel.’
Language :
They favour words like feel, touch, grasp, get hold of, catch on, make contact, tap into, turn around, concrete, hard, touch base, boils down to, come to grips with, hand in hand and so on.
Other less dominant modalities are :
Gustatory ( taste ) language indicator ‘ a taste of her own medicine ’
Olfactory ( smell ) language indicator ‘ something smells fishy to me ’
Practising identification of a person’s dominant modality can be carried out by looking at emails you may have received. Look for example at how a person ‘signs off ’ their email – see you soon ( Visual ), give me a bell when you get time ( auditory ), let me know how you feel about it ( kinaesthetic ) and so on. Read through their email for other indicators to support your selection.
Modality work is also supported by looking at Eye Accessing Cues : People who look upwards for information are generally visual people, those that look directly at you are Auditory and those who look down for information when asked for it are Kinaesthetic/ feelings people.
Exercise.
Practising establishing a person’s dominant modality can be done easily by watching a news programme or chat show. Watch and listen to the interviewer and the interviewee’s communication. Watch their eye accessing cues when they are asked a question. The direction of their eyes not only indicates their sensory preference but also whether they are accessing real memories or constructing new ones. This need not mean they are lying ( however it might ) as it may be that infact they are using existing information to form a new opinion about something. All construction is not necessarily lies.
Establishing a person’s dominant modality helps you to communicate with them ‘ in their own language ’ hence the ability to build rapport quickly. It also encourages you to listen to and watch attentively the other person and switch off or turn down your own internal dialogue. Because you are listening to what they are saying you are much more likely to ask questions and make comments that illustrate to them that you have indeed been paying attention – again building rapport. Most people like to talk about themselves so if you are a nervous conversationalist listen attentively and ask open questions and this will maintain the other persons flow of conversation until you feel confident enough to ‘ talk back.’